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Nobody shouts “It’s a TRAP!” because there isn’t time.
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The heist goes off as an homage to Michael Mann’s “Heat,” with that one unplanned interruption that springs a massive police response. You in?Ĭombat vet Will finds himself in a supposedly souped-up delivery van with Danny and a bunch of strangers pulling off a $32 million bank robbery in downtown LA. But not with a job helping him guard a rich client’s car collection and working as a sort of flunky/personal assistant. Even if his wife keeps Danny’s (Gyllenhaal) phone number blocked and warns Will away. But his “brother,” the guy whose father “took me in,” might help.
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But you’ll hate yourself in the morning.Ībdul-Mateen II plays Will, a Marine vet with a sickly wife, big medical bills and an unhelpful military insurance complex letting him down. Given all that, knowing that things are going to get real stupid at some point, with characters quoting Michael Bay movies (“The Rock,” “Bad Boys”), and acknowledging that the 2:16 advertised running time is an understatement, do you give yourself over to Bay’s latest non-“Transformers”/”Bad Boys” ride? But most of what comes in between is a life-is-cheap/nobody-ever-needs-to-reload gunfight and crash-crash-crash (in more or less real time) car chase. It opens with an emotional gut-punch and ends with an attempted reprise of that. Jake Gyllenhaal turns on the “crazy Jake,” with Yahya Abdul-Mateen II (Manta in “Aquaman”) in the “good half-brother corrupted” sidekick role, Eiza González as this year’s Megan Fox, playing a kidnapped paramedic and Garret Dillahunt as a Josh Duhamel substitute - the cop/authority figure given to bragging that “We’re SIS…we set traps” for bad guys. The plot goes completely off the rails.Īnd the casting is archetypal, one long Bay cliche.
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The the whole movie is glib, with a police SIS captain in tattered USC gear driving his drooling mastiff around in a vintage Fiat 500 spouting flippant dialogue, with only the rarest line standing out. The action sequences are assaultive, brutally-efficient exercises in gunplay, stunts and frenetic acting passing by in a blur as breathless as the editing team can make it, all of it set to a thundering pulse-pounding score by Lorne Balfe. “ Ambulance” is 80 minutes of pure mayhem wallowing through 140-150 minutes of pure Michael Bay hokum.