But gay men shouldn’t be the ones to comment on how these straight men are ruining their wives’ lives, especially because we never stop fetishising straight film actors and athletes and going out of our way to elaborate how they can destroy our holes. That’s important since there’s a level of gatekeeping within queer spaces, where you have to be so and so and identify as such and such to find yourself being accepted in the bigger community. So what were those encounters?įarhad also believes that other gay men should back off from defining what sexuality bracket these men fall under. Also, because he very much claims he’s straight to this day. I know for a fact that he’s straight now because when we interact, we don’t delve upon those days of mutual gratification. However, today, my childhood friend is married and has a wife and kid of his own, and he even had a great pre-Covid wedding party. While it was mostly me on the giving end of it, I thought of it as early target practice, since today I am as gay as Easter Sunday. A year later, the jerk-off sessions turned into handjobs, making out, and blowjobs. We obviously didn’t think too much about it. So that’s what we did for almost two years. His mom would be out for work and his younger siblings would still be at school. There, at the age of 14, we would freefall into the murky backalleys of early 2000s internet pornography - the sorts that even after you shut the browser, a pop-up of a woman moaning kept returning on the desktop.īefore we got shunned from the local cyber cafes, we would take our half-hour surfing period to look at images of pink penises and vaginas and excitedly head to my friend’s place after to masturbate together. If the shiny new fact isn't something you can live with, BLOW, then he isn't either.One of my earliest experiences was chilling with my childhood buddy, playing video games, banging hot wheels into each other, and borrowing 10 rupees from our parents to go surfing at a cyber cafe. If the shiny new fact is something you could’ve lived with or, hell, enjoyed-some women love watching their bi boyfriends get with other dudes-then the offense was unnecessary: he didn’t need to sneak around. Discuss the offense first, the new fact second. You need to separate the age-old offense (sneaking around potential betrayal) from the shiny new fact you’ve learned (your boyfriend may be bi at the very least he’s bi-curious and/or heteroflexible). Let's say he came to you and said, “I fantasized about messing around with a guy-I just want to get my cock sucked-and I wanted to know if that was something you would allow me to do?” What would you have said to him? How would you have reacted Could you be with a bisexual guy? But you need to into that convo with some clarity about what you want-besides him living up to the monogamous commitment he made you-and some clarity about how you feel about being with him if he's bi or bicurious or heteroflexible. then pretty much everyone in a longterm relationship is guilty of first degree murder.Īll that said, BLOW, you’re going to have to have a conversation with your boyfriend. But if contemplating something makes us guilty of it. That said, BLOW, most people who join hookup sites intend to hookup and the rest have at least contemplated hooking up. Some people just want the virtual strokes and ego boost that comes with being wanted by someone who doesn't have "wants me" in their job description. Not everyone who joins a hookup site intends to do any hooking up. That doesn’t make cheating on you okay cheating is not okay-if, again, he cheated on you. It’s also possible that he wants something in addition to all the wonderful sex he’s having with you-it's possible that what he wants isn't just a blowjob, but a blowjob from a man.
It’s possible you do have a wonderful sex life. (I'm stressing those "ifs" because some people join hookup sites to fantasize, not actualize.)
If he went through with this- if you two have a monogamous commitment (I'm assuming you do) and if he got his cock sucked by some dude (and the jury is still out on that)-then you were definitely betrayed. Before I go any further: I want to affirm your feelings.