And when we hear veteran therapists warn newbies about the code words (i.e., “happy endings”) some clients use in seeking out something more than therapeutic massage, it’s obvious sex is still a huge part of the consumer psyche relative to massage, regardless of the fact that Oprah has an on-site spa at her Harpo Studios or that more people than ever before are climbing on the massage table. When we read the article “Spike and the Leopard Lady”, it’s an extreme example of this strange brew and a painful reminder of the struggles this profession has faced from the beginning. “They can be eliciting the overtures they receive by the unconsciously seductive quality in their touch.” Couple that with an antiquated public perception about what massage therapists really do, and we have a sexual storm brewing just under the surface of the profession. “I think females have been taught to win approval by being sexual,” she says. Olivier also reminds us that just as men have their hardwiring in place, so do women. “You need to realize that you are in control of what happens within each session, and drawing the boundaries is up to you.” Olivier, who’s had thirty-four years of experience teaching and massaging men and women, says it’s up to each therapist to set his/her limits. “As an attractive young female, you will be propositioned during your career,” says Jocelyn Olivier, founder and director of the Institute of Conscious Bodywork in Corte Madera, California. Yet, men are hardly alone when it comes to sex playing a role in this profession. It’s the price for being a man in the massage profession: regardless of training and experience, the difference of a single chromosome can sometimes predict career success. While this kind of thinking might sell our highly-skilled male MTs short, it does express an idea not unique to these women. Either way, these young, female consumers believe men can’t take sex out of the picture, regardless how good a therapist they are. Between his orthopedic training and the ring on his finger, she felt “safe.” Others say that while they’re convinced their male massage therapists think about sex during the massage, it’s not enough to deter the therapeutic relationship. Gina, a successful business owner in Denver, Colorado, says that until recently she would only frequent female massage therapists “because I don’t want my therapist thinking about sex while they’re working on me, and if it’s a man, I know he will be.” She says when her massage needs changed in favor of something more therapeutic than relaxing, she sought a Russian-born male therapist, who, she quickly points out, is married. The responses were interesting and varied, but each had an undertone of the bigger problem.Īccording to these young women, it’s absolutely about sex-and always will be. I recently asked several young women from outside the massage community the gender of their massage therapist and why they had chosen that particular therapist. So why do male therapists often struggle to build a client base or find themselves discounted from job interviews at the local spa before they’ve even listed their qualifications? Is it just about gender, or something more? Granted, some female therapists have been known to say, “Now they know what it feels like.” Still, at the core, we can all understand the frustration that must come when our work is dictated or judged by our gender, not our performance.
We’re all aware of the difficulties male therapists can encounter when working in this profession, and I think it’s fair to say we can all appreciate that struggle.
Whether it be the new therapist struggling to build a practice simply because he’s a man, the seasoned veteran who receives illicit calls from men at all hours because she is listed under massage in the telephone directory, or the underlying cultural current that tries to define, categorize, and typify therapists based on their anatomy, gender undoubtedly plays a role in an MT’s daily business and, like it or not, is an important factor influencing this field. And despite all that we might do to evade the topic, gender and, subsequently, sexuality always come back to somehow factor into the equation. When it comes to the role of gender in the massage and bodywork profession, the spectrum of issues is great.